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Tax Free Outside CA.
The zombies are here. Are you ready? Image via Pixabay[/caption]
Zombies are everywhere. I'm not sure what is keeping everyone so calm. Their zombiness is spreading at unprecedented rates and they are taking over the world. We can see them at work, in the home, at the store, and spookily enough...driving. The fact is that I'm a zombie.
Sure enough, when I stumbled out of bed at 4:30 this morning I was in full zombie mode. My mind was basically blank, I stumbled around careening into the walls, couldn't process anything happening around me, and basically embodied what the walking dead is all about. I can't remember for sure (which might be a symptom of the zombiness) but I think I even made the noises. Thank goodness for the magical mixture of tonic I buy from a mystical company called "Folgers" that staves off my zombiness for another day. Whew.
I'm sorry to say it's not just me. Next time you step out into the world stop and look around at all the zombies swarming around you. As I mentioned earlier, oftentimes they are driving. Next time you're at a red light look around slowly, so as not to arose suspicion. You may notice in one of the cars a zombie at the wheel. You can tell by the blank expression they have and the "nothing happening upstairs" look on their face. Stay clear of them. You never know what a zombie is capable of.
Another place you can see zomibes is anywhere teenagers are gathered in groups. I work at a school (until my zombie secret gets out) and see it nearly everyday. For most of the day the students are pleasant, willing to learn, and have a bright look on their faces. Their energetic personalities can be really uplifting. Then comes lunch. The zombie bug within (I'm not entirely sure how the zombie thing works) must activate at the smell of food and prompts the infected hosts to grab their phones. With their phones out these once curious and energetic beings snapped into full zombie mode. The smell of food must attract the zombie bug because the mob can somehow manage to move ever so slowly through the lunchline, to their seats, and consume the food all without breaking their trance from the phone! It is quite impressive if for the fact they weren't zombies.
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The PSE Easy-cock crossbow was designed specifically for zombies.[/caption]
Suffice it to say I'm not here to scare you, just make you aware of the threat around. If zombies attack what should be the first response? Grab your PSE easy-cock crossbow of course. These handy little pistol crossbows are designed specifically for the demands of a zombie apocalypse. With an easy-cocking design, cheap arrows that allow for plentiful shooting, and a red dot scope standard, you should be able to last the onslaught....for a little while. Until then you can practice with the handheld bow and likely have a great time.
Don't wait until its too late. Start preparing for the zombie attack that is already occurring. Wait...wait...I feel...disconnecting...need........more................Folgers.........
***DISCLAIMER***
THIS BLOG IS NOT INTENDED TO ENDORSE THE SHOOTING OF TEENAGERS ON THEIR PHONES, PEOPLE WITH BLANK EXPRESSIONS ON THEIR FACES, OR THE AUTHOR HIMSELF WITH A PSE EASY-COCK CROSSBOW OR ANY OTHER BOW FOR THAT MATTER.
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